It's Christmas evening at my location in the world; yesterday was the big day here - Christmas Eve, where the big Christmas dinner takes place and presents are opened after the "tradtional" Donald Duck hour on tv… funny how old habits die hard; everyone in Sweden can see lots of channels these days and most kids and adults have seen all sorts of cartoons, both Disney and otherwise.  Swedes are avid movie buffs (at least the ones in my family!) and watch all sorts of movies on cable tv and video, so this thing with Kalle Anka - Donald Duck hour - takes place right before you open the presents but normally right after you eat the big dinner. And what does that consist of?

  Well, traditionally, it consists of baked or cooked ham "julskinka", meatballs "köttbullar", tiny sausages that taste like hotdogs "prinskorvar", ribs "revbenspjäll", boiled potatoes, and a bunch of stuff that I don't like.  My tradition is to have a stuffed turkey with my own special recipe for stuffing, sweet potatoes, yams, veggies, salad, deserts and cakes.  This year was different at my house.  My eldest son was dying for a traditional Swedish Christmas and so I had to go the baked ham/meatballs/sausage route.   It was kind of nice to skip the turkey since we also celebrate Thanksgiving and had turkey then.  All the kids loved having the Smörgåsbord where they can pick and choose what they like, and I prepare the food unlike any Swede - I serve potatoes au gratin ala Angela, spicy meatballs and "barbequed" ribs.  It was fun for a change.  Since I love to cook, I will be creating a site with recipes soon.  Including them here seems like a major step away from writing about my journey.

I watched "The Secret" again this evening and there were several areas of my life that I considered where I need to focus on for improvement:

* business relationships - trust in contractors and sub-contractors

* health - my hurt knee

* money/debt

I know it seems strange to put money last, but it seems that I am attracting people who I am having crossed communications with.  So I need to change the way I see myself communicating my needs to people.  This isn't true in private relationships, but it is totally obvious in business relationships.  I am constantly worrying that I am being misunderstood - constantly uncertain if they have understood what I need to get done.  Worrying if they are going to keep their word. I have also worried of being taken advantage of.

In health, I have been worrying about my knee and have seen myself as a cripple.

On money issues, I have worried about - even envisioned (gasp!) not be able to pay off my debt fast enough; that the bills will keep increasing all the time - and they have.  Lots of unexpected costs have seemingly dropped out of nowhere.

According to "The Secret", whatever I focus on, I am attracting more of the same. This is so true, but we tend to forget it.  Another thing that was mentioned in the Secret was a phrase I have learned elsewhere as well, but is no less true here:

" What you resist, persists."   We have to learn to stop resisting or pushing situations away from us and learn to accept them but focus on what we actually want.  Muddled vision leads to muddled results. Fuzzy focus leads to fuzzy results.

There were a few good tips for visualising what you want and for learning to control your thoughts and emotions, such as focusing only on the things that you actually want and not what you don't want.

    For example, if you would like to become debt-free, focus instead on prosperity and abundance, and not on your mounting debt;

    visualize seeing checks come into the mail, instead of bills coming through the mail;

    change your bank statement to read $300,000 instead of $300;

    practice thinking that your receive money from unexpected sources instead of bills from unexpected sources;

    decide on a sum of money that will come from an unexpected source within 30 days - a sum that you can believe will actually come to you;

    focus on abundance and well-being in every area of your life;

    express gratitude every chance you get . You can say it to yourself , too.

    stop complaining and discussing the negative - become "pro-whatever" and stop being "anti".

In the book The Kingship Of Self-Control, by William George Jordan, he writes of worry as "The Great American Disease", although this bad habit is not just reserved for Americans.  He also writes that "worry is the most popular form of suicide"!  "Worry is the dominance of the mind by a single vague, restless, unsatisfied or fearful idea."  To cure worry, we must understand how useless worry is; it changes nothing to the positive and only squires away our energy. 

Despite knowing better, I have seen the devastating effects of worry and succumbing to fears in my life, and yet continued to complain and worry and be fearful. Like I said, old habits do die hard… But  moving forward in life - I have decided that every time I feel the pain in my knee or leg, that I will say "Thank you for this healing", either out loud or to myself; everytime I think about my bills or money, I will say "Thank you for my prosperity and well-being".  I was saying "I am completely healed; I am whole.  I know how to heal myself" and I have experienced some improvement.  Today, I have expressed gratitude in everything I say and do.  I feel better already!  Hope I can keep this up all this week - then another week into a month.  This will take some self-control, but I think it'll be worth it.

I let you know how it goes…

Merry Christmas,

Angela Wickenberg